Friday, September 05, 2008

Not so good news...

So, I went in this morning for a sonogram and basically, there is no baby. The space where the baby was supposed to be was empty. It was definitely a sad moment when Joey and I saw the image. Nobody had to tell us something was wrong-we knew immediately.

The technical term for what I have is: molar pregnancy(click the words if you want a good description of it-I can't even explain it very well myself). With this type of pregnancy, you have all of the symptoms, actually some symptoms like nausea and fatigue can be magnified, you test positive for pregnant, miss a period, etc. but instead of a baby forming, its a mass of cells that the medical world terms as "moles". They keep on growing and multiplying. So, anyways, next Tuesday, the 9th, I'm scheduled for a D&C.

Joey was so sweet and took the rest of the day off of work to be with me as I was a bit down today. He was driving separately and stopped and bought me flowers on the way too:) And I have already had such awesome friends do such sweet things for me. I already have babysitters lined up for Monday(pre-op stuff) and Tuesday(surgery day). I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful friends that are so willing to help. Flowers, gifts, meal offers, babysitting, I'm so lucky. I don't know what I'd do without you and your love and support.

After surgery, I'll have to go in every 2 weeks for bloodwork to make sure my hcg pregnancy hormone levels are lowering. Most people's go back to normal within weeks and thats what I'm hoping for. If not, that means that the growths have come back and are growing again. Could be fixed with another D&C, could become cancerous even. However, the chance of that is really really low, so I'm trying not to worry about it too much. Oh, and another negative about this, we can't try to conceive again for 6 months:(

Anyways, maybe this was too much information! But I wanted to share what was going on with my blog friends. I know everything happens for a reason, though we can't see the "big picture" while on this Earth, going through our trials, I know this is how it was supposed to be. I have faith that we will have another baby(or 2 or 3!). We just might have to wait a little longer than we'd like. I have found comfort in knowing that Heavenly Father loves me and things will all work out in the end.

I'll let you know how things go next week. Keep me in your prayers if you don't mind! I love you guys!

32 comments:

100 Percent Cottam said...

oooh, holly! i'm so, so sorry. that is so hard. holly o'keefe has been through this - you should talk to her. i'm sure she can give you lots of good information. you will be in my prayers.

mamapickle said...

I am soo sorry. I know how excited you were for a new baby in your lives. I had a similar experience with my very 1st pregnancy.They called it a blighted ovum, where you get pregnant and everything keeps growing (the sac the water hormone levels) except for the baby. The baby never developed much past cells dividing. It is hard to wrap your mind around it not happening when you are already preparing for it. If you need anything or just want to talk, don't hesitate to call me. These things are just random flukes and I am sure you will have lots more babies to come :)

-Melissa- said...

oh Holly, I am so sorry this happened. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jennifer said...

Holly, I too am sorry. You are an AMAZING person and I know Heavenly Father is watching over you. You're right, it's just something that happens and it wasn't supposed to be.....yet! Don't worry, with you & Joey's record, you'll have a baby(s) in no time!!! Everything will be okay! Let me know if you need anything. Take care :)

Jan said...

Ah, Holly! I'm so sorry -- I know how excited you and the family were. You are and will continue to be in our prayers -- what I wish is that there was something I could do for you that would take the pain away.

Love you!

the duchess said...

I can't even imagine what you're going through right now, but I do know that all things are for our good. You and your dear family will be blessed with understanding in time and peace throughout. You are in my thoughts & prayers.

Hacking it up said...

Oh Holly...I am so sorry! Keep your chin up!! You will have many prayers offered on your behalf.I saw a couple of these when I worked in surgery, and they always turned out well...good luck! Loves, Steph

Mindi said...

i'm sorry holly---we love you too!! you will get thru this with the help of your awesome man and family. just know that we are all behind you here in "cyberspace" and that i'll be praying for you and your little ones.

you are a survivor!

Champion Family said...

Hey Holly, I'm so sorry honey. :( I will give you a call in a little bit(it's only 8 on Sat),if you are up for talking, if not that's ok too.

Patty said...

I know it must be discouraging for you! I'm sad I can't be there when you have your D&C on Tuesday but I'm comforted in knowing that you have Joey to take care of you and so many loving friends. You're in my thoughts and prayers. I love you more than words can say.
Mom

Tara D said...

Hang in there Holly. Joey, you're such a great husband to take care of my sister the way you did. I don't doubt for a second that you guys are going to have many more babies! Again, I'm sorry, and you'll be in my prayers. Love ya!

The Bright Family said...

I'm so sorry Holly. You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers--and hey, they didn't say you couldn't 'practice' during the next 6 months---that should still be fun. :)

-Laura- said...

Oh no...I'm SO sorry Holly. That sounds horrible. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Rebecca said...

I'm so sorry Holly. I am no stranger to pregnancy loss and i know how hard it is. I lost three between my first and second girls (one was an ectopic which required surgery). You certainly have my prayers and thoughts. You're one strong lady and I know you can get through this.

Holly O. said...

I'm sorry Holly. Natalie Cottam sent me over because before I had Connor, I had a molar pregnancy too. Send me an email if you want to talk. holly_okeefe@msn.com

hoLLy said...

thank you to EVERYONE for your love and support. your comments have helped to cheer me up! i'm grateful for every one of you!

Emily said...

Oh Holly! I am so sorry for you. I know how it feels to loose a baby. I have also had a D&C, so if you have any questions, e-mail me. Don't be scared. I am thinking of you.

Kristi said...

Holly, I am so, so sorry. Truly. You are in my thoughts and prayers right now and I hope you are doing ok. I have also had a D&C and I am also available if you want to chat. Take care of yourself, Holly, and just know we love you. :)

Grammy Staffy said...

Sweet Holly,
I am so very sorry. I have not words to say. You will be in my prayers and I'll put your name in the temple here again.

I am glad that Joey and friends are being so supportive. I wish that I could help.

My daughter-in-law lost a baby a little while ago. It is so hard, especially since you have been down this road before. I will pray that all will go well Tues.

God bless you. Love, Lura

Ann Marie said...

Holly, I am so sorry you are going through that. I know you will draw upon the strength of The Lord to get you through. I know God has something wonderful in store for you and Joey in the future!! He never closes a door without opening another! God bless you and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Anayansi said...

holly, i am so sorry. i can't believe that this has happened. you are such a wonderful person and will definitely be in our prayers. please call if there is anything that we can do to help. i am more than willing to come out there for anything. we love you, and hope that ya'll know that.

Cindy said...

You all are in my thoughts and prayers!! I love you.....

Aubrey said...

I hope you've had a great day!I LOVE YOU!!!!!!


Love Aubrey

ACDC2005 said...

Aww Holly I'm so so sorry! I just read your blog and it made me cry! I know how it feels to see a sonogram and know somerhing is wrong! I know you are prolly feeling a lot of things right now but don't worry! Every little thing's gonna be alright... Okay so I stole from Bob but I do know that it will all work out! I've known several friends who had a molar pregnancy and everything worked out fine! You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

devri said...

Holly, things do happen for a reason, you will grow from this, although it might not be fun, or what you wanted, you and your husband will grow closer together as well with your children. You will have more... I have had yes count them, 5 miscarriages, and the 6th, well we don't know what to call it, it was our last set to be born, baby twin boys. The biggest had a hole in his heart, and died at 20 1/2 weeks, he did not abort, I had to carry him with Mohekonokono for the rest of the pregnancy.. I delivered them both..So I definatly know what you are going through... take care sis, and you are in our prayers..

Marie said...

I am late coming to this Holly as I had a very busy weekend, and am just catching up on my favourite reads now. I am so sorry to hear this my sweet. I know how much you were looking foward to this and I was so very excited for you. We don't always understand the why's and wherefore's but we know God's plan for us is perfect. Thank goodness for that precious knowledge. (((((hugs))))) My prayers are very much with you and Joe right now and your girls. Praying also that all goes well with the operation and that you have a brilliant future full of lots of babies, more than you can stand! I'm also putting your name into the London Temple prayer roll, coz I reckon a few extra ones can't hurt one bit! XXOO

The Zookeeper said...

I am so so sorry Holly Bo Bolly. I can't imagine. You and your sweet family are in our thoughts and prayers. You have the best attitude and outlook of anyone I know! You really are an inspiration!

Olive Lucy said...

H- i haven't commented yet because i am angry and bitter and well i just think it sucks. I think it sucks big time and i don;t care if i sound sour. We want you to know no matter what even years from now we will always be hear to talk to you about the butterflies that flew away.

Love,
C, W, OL & PS

Larissa said...

Holly, I'm so sorry. This is so rotten. Please know that you and your family are in our prayers. Thanks for being a good example. Love, Larissa

Tiburon said...

Holly I am so so so so sorry. WHat horrible news. I hadn't checked in with you for a few days and this breaks my heart. :(

You are for sure in my thoughts and prayers.

HIRSCHI FAMILY said...

I cried a lot after I got off the phone with you that day. I can't even imagine what you are going through or will go through for awhile. I am just so glad to know you have a wonderful husband who will be there for you and three gorgeous girls that will remind you of how lucky you already are. I love you and you will be in my prayers

cyndi/mom/nana said...

Once again reminded of how sad this has all been and grateful for a loving Father in Heaven and friends and family who love you ever so much and keep you in our thoughts and prayers.